You know that thing we hate where we look at the work of some other makers whether that be in a shop, design centre, Etsy or such and, as well as admiring and coveting, think I could make that! Well I do that (not say out loud mind - I'm not a monster) but I think 'Oh the things I make are better than that!' The next thought is 'I could be selling my makes!' Then I don't. I know why too... It's because I'm a king-sized coward. I want everything to be perfect and if I don't give 100% it feels like failure anyway. Plus I am SO good at diverting myself! It's a gift and a curse.
Surrounded by half-made lovely things I've been poised on the edge of really trying as my maker self for some time. Previously I have blamed my photography skills and kit, needing to practice, wanting to complete one big project first... All sorts of excuses! Lately the reason/ excuse has been down to not finishing items so that I could sew in labels once I have them. Homemade labels didn't meet my neat need, the hand-embroidered hexagons took waaaaaay too much time and so now it's about designing and ordering machine made labels... hadn't done that though had I? So then I wait, delay shilly-shally and start the next thing, and the next. Buy more fabric, buy more fabric, knit another scarf... and allow the pile of WiPs to grow like a fabric tumour in the room next door. It's presence feels Poe-esque to me - The Tell-Tale Heap (of Unfinished Objects).
Folk I know see the things I make and ooh, ahh and 'I hope you'll make me something' to me. The flattery/request combo means that I take them at their word. I then make gifts of items that take me days to plan and make. Items that could go for a significant sum in £s. In exchange often I get a book, bag of fudge or some other 10 second decision. Then I curse myself for failing to have the same motivation for making to sell.
I don't have the crafter churn-them-out and whack them on Etsy mentality at all. I like to make one-off pieces with love, care and total obsessive perfectionism. But I bump into friends who are real artists, artisans etc. - I mean proper ones (skint ones) - and it turns out we think the same ways, we have the same processes, share the same challenges and it occurs to me that I'm just like them in my creative pursuits... Does that mean I'm an artist? Maybe. Maybe not. At least it definitely means I have no choice but to express that side of myself. No choice.
In the meantime I throw myself into a new employment - heart and soul of course. Like I said, anything less than 100% is a fail - that counts for everything. Working with lovely new people and feeling somewhat like a hero parachuted in to save the day, means that I neglect my craftery, my social life, my web life, my voluntary work, gymming and my health even. Away for some R&R to recover from all that... lovely... then ill - of course. You can't run full tilt then rest up and expect anything other than being struck down ill can you? But that poorly time does allow for a bit of time to reflect which is what this whole business has been about.
Having failed to blog for a long time and failed to commit properly to doing anything with my makes it seems appropriate to say it out loud here. It might not sound like much but it's sizable enough to slightly scare me.
Here goes:
By the end of March I shall have my labels. Labels to identify fabricy makes as made by me.
By the time the labels arrive I shall be poised with makes ready to be whizzed with their labels and gathered into a stock, which I shall properly promote via the appropriate channels. Not flog, not rinse, but share.
By the time the labels arrive I shall be poised with makes ready to be whizzed with their labels and gathered into a stock, which I shall properly promote via the appropriate channels. Not flog, not rinse, but share.
By the end of April I shall have my website and all the rest of those channels in some sort of order... whatever that might look like.
In the meantime I shall be working on improving my photography skills, and indeed my writing, so sharing a little more non-makery stuff here, maybe more there etc.. Forgive me.
My FOQ rant wasn't for naught either. There are plans on that count too, and I shan't be letting anything get in the way of them.
Just you bloody watch me.
nbnq xx
